


Learning How to Cry is the Hardest Part

by soprano_buddy15



Series: Peace After Battle [7]
Category: The Last Kingdom, The Last Kingdom (TV), The Warrior Chronicles | The Saxon Stories - Bernard Cornwell
Genre: Domestic Sihtric, F/M, Oops, Post Season 4, Pregnancy, Sihtric is such a Dad, Spoilers for Season 4, big sad, loss of a child, this is sadder then i wanted it to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24730525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soprano_buddy15/pseuds/soprano_buddy15
Summary: Finan’s reactions every time he learns that Sihtric’s wife is pregnant.
Relationships: Eadith/Finan (The Last Kingdom), Ealhswith/Sihtric (The Last Kingdom), Finan & Sihtric (The Last Kingdom)
Series: Peace After Battle [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736485
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	Learning How to Cry is the Hardest Part

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Java_Blythe_Peralta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Java_Blythe_Peralta/gifts).



> What? Two fics in one day?
> 
> I honestly don’t know how I went from not writing for five solid days to pumping out two fics in a day. Isolation does stuff to you. 
> 
> I initially wanted to write this fic as a joke, because I firmly believe that Sihtric will have multiple children but then it turned into a big sad real quick. I still love it though. 
> 
> Title is from "Beautiful Dawn" by the Wailin' Jennys. Highly recommend any and all of their things if you're into funky folk music. 
> 
> Also, I discovered that it’s much easier to put in the HTML cuts when you type so that you don’t have to go through and add them in. It took me 24 fics to figure this out, but to be honest, I’m not using much of my brain at the moment. 
> 
> (Also these notes are like therapy for me because I don’t know how to speak to people other than my family and it’s bad. Just ask Java_Blythe_Peralta. I have no filter.)
> 
> Between each section is a time jump. It should be pretty obvious, but I'm telling you here just in case! Constructive comments are always welcome! Just don’t be rude, because nobody wants that.

Coccham was lovely this time of year. 

Finan frowned as the though ran through his head. Good Jesus, he needed to get out more and fight. The domestic life was getting to him. 

It was just as well, he thought. Uhtred now had an eight year old and a five year old. He was still answering Alfred’s letters to go and fight back the invading Danes, but the time between those messages from Winchester was getting longer and longer. He supposed that it meant that they were succeeding in their endeavour; the Danes were no longer brave enough to take on Uhtred of Bebbanburg and his men. 

Sihtric was also embracing the life of a married man. He brought flowers to his wife everyday, and Finan had honestly not seen the man as much as he did when he and Ealhswith went for walks by the river. It left Finan to be with Osferth, but there was only so much praying he could do before whacking himself in the head with a candlestick. 

He was sitting by the river, his turn to keep watch. A few small trading boats were making their way down the river and on to Winchester, but there was nothing to create a fuss. 

Finan reached for another one of the smooth river stones and stacked it on top of the others he had collected. The tower he was building was now five stones high, precariously balanced on top of each other. He smiled softly when he remembered Clapa teaching him this game. 

“There you are,” Sihtric plopped down beside him, and Finan cried out as he knocked over the stones. “Oh. Sorry.”

“Yeah, sure you are.” Finan mumbled, a little heat to his words. They were just a stack of rocks, but Finan had combed the bank looking for the perfect ones to stack. They had to be smooth and round, and it had taken Finan a good amount of time to find them all. 

“Here,” Sihtric stacked them up again, his deft hands swiftly balancing them. “Like this?” He gently let go of the top rock, and it did not move when he removed his hand. 

He glared at Sihtric again. “Aye, that’ll be alright.” He admitted. “What do you want?”

“I’ve been looking for you all morning. You always change where you sit when you watch.”

“I like to change it up.”

“Whatever,” Sihtric nearly knocked over the stones again as he turned to face Finan. “I have something to tell you.”

“Whoa,” Finan held out a hand to stop Sihtric. “How are you suddenly tripping over two left feet? And not caring about disrupting my little tower of stones?” Sihtric was very particular, and hardly misstepped, even when walking over very uneven ground. 

Rolling his eyes in exasperation, Sihtric picked up the five stones and plunked them down out of the way, still balanced. “Finan,” he said as Finan made noises of protests. “Finan, I have news.”

“Fine, tell me your news.” He lay against the giant oak that shaded his little grove. A trading boat was making its way down the river, and Finan recognized the ship’s master give a little wave. 

“So Ealhswith has been ill,” Sihtric began, and joined him against the tree. “At first I was very concerned because she had not been ill like this in years.”

Finan frowned, and finally his attention fully on his best friend. “She’s been ill? For how long?”

“On and off for the last few weeks.”

Finan’s mind flashed back to all of his encounters with Sihtric. He had seemed distant, and concerned whenever they left Coccham for a long period of time. “I’m sorry, Sihtric. I didn’t know.”

He shrugged it off. “She didn’t want to tell anyone. She was worried that they would not let her work and she hates sitting around being idle.”

“If she is ill, though…”

“She’s not ill.” Sihtric’s grin stretched all the way across his face. “She’s with child.”

Finan could only blink. “Ealhswith’s pregnant?” He repeated.

Sihtric nodded eagerly. “She discovered it only recently. Hild confirmed it.” Sihtric was usually calm and reserved, but right now he was quivering with excitement. 

Finan clapped him on the shoulder, understanding his excitement. “I’m happy for you, Sihtric.” 

He played with the rings on his hands. “I never imagined…” he began, and Finan knew what Sihtric was trying to say. 

“You deserve a family, Sihtric.” Finan knocked him on the shoulder again. “Truly.”

They sat for a while, Sihtric’s joy and happiness in the air around him. “I suppose I’ll need to build another room,” he said suddenly. “Before the winter comes.”

“And I suppose you want me to help?” 

“I’m not going to ask Osferth.”

*****

“Good Jesus. Sihtric, control your child.”

Young Sihtric was currently attempting to climb Finan’s leg, and yanked on his belt as he hoisted his three-year old self up.

“I’m busy.” Sihtric was busy; he was meticulously wrapping twine around bundles of herbs and hanging them in their kitchen to dry. Finan had only come over to see where Sihtric was. 

Young Sihtric made a grab for his dagger and he hurriedly pulled the boy’s arm away. “Jesus, _Sihtric._

“Sihtric, enough.” The elder glanced at his son as he tugged a knot tighter. “Go and put the twine away.” 

The boy grabbed the ball and scurried off, his little legs moving as fast as they were able to find the chest in the room where Ealhswith and Sihtric slept. 

“How is that your child?” Finan groaned as he sat down. “Were you ever that restless?

Sihtric scoffed. “Of course.” He placed a bundle of herbs on the hook and sat down, making sure that they all stayed together. “Weren’t you?”

“Oh, I was much wilder than that,” Finan grinned. “But you’re always just so…” he gestured haphazardly. “Calm.”

Sihtric let out a hearty laugh at that. “I had to grow up fast, but trust me, when my mother wasn’t looking…” He just laughed again, and watched Young Sihtric toddle out of their bedroom, his arms full of wooden blocks. 

Young Sihtric had found the pile of blocks that Uhtred had carved as a gift for them upon his birth. He was stacking them up as high as he could, his clumsy hands knocking it down before it could get too high. 

As much grief as Young Sihtric caused with all of his mischief, it was nice to have hear the giggling of the boy whenever they would spend time in hall together. It had been quiet since Gisela had died and Alfred had taken Stiorra and Young Uhtred. Finan begrudgingly admitted to himself that he loved the little boy very much.

“Ealhswith is pregnant again.”

Finan whipped his head around at Sihtric. “Another one?” He said, aghast. “When you already have to deal with that?” He pointed at Young Sihtric, who was currently splayed out on the floor. He loved the boy, but he was also crazy. 

Sihtric shrugged, but he was smiling. “We want a family.”

Sighing, Finan just shook his head. “You are not allowed to build more rooms.” He recalled the first time he built a new wall in Sihtric’s tiny house. Ealhswith had sat at the table and watched, resting her swollen feet and laughing whenever Finan missed a nail and hit his thumb instead.

Sihtric grinned at that, but shook his head. “We should be fine for a while.”

“Well, when you do need to build something, you are asking Osferth.”

*****

“Finan? Can I talk to you?”

Finan and Eadith stopped walking as Sihtric jogged up to them. Finan frowned as he noticed his friend clenching his jaw and fiddling with his rings. “Of course.” He turned toward’s Eadith. “I’ll meet you at the house?” She nodded, squeezing his arm before walking away. 

Sihtric was still fiddling with his hands as Finan studied him. “Sihtric, what is it?” He had been very quiet since getting back to Coccham. As relieved as he had been to come back to his family, Sihtric had been through a lot and it was haunting him. It had been been hard on him to be away for so long, and Finan knew that hanging upside down in the forest was a recurring nightmare for the man. 

Sihtric bit his lip. “Ealhswith is pregnant again.”

A sinking feeling went through Finan. “Oh.” It had been a joyful shock for them all when they had returned and Sihtric had a new daughter. Young Sihtric was happy, and their daughter Ealfled never stopped talking. “Are you okay?”

Sihtric was clenching and unclenching his fists anxiously. “I’m worried,” he admitted softly. 

Finan wrapped his arm around Sihtric’s shoulders and started walking towards the back part of the village where fewer people lived. “I know.”

Ealhswith’s second pregnancy had been hard for her, and Finan knew it had also been hard on Sihtric. Her illness had been much worse that time, and had almost lost her life when delivering the child. Finan remembered hearing Sihtric’s cries of grief echo throughout the buildings when they laid the child, who had come far too early, on the pyre.

“I cannot lose another, Finan.” Sihtric muttered, his hands still flexing uncontrollably. “Or Ealhswith.”

“Hey,” Finan grabbed hold of Sihtric’s hands. “You will not lose her. She is strong, and she will give you another child. She did it all by herself last time.”

“Yes, but-“ Sihtric was breathing shallowly now- “What if it is too much for her?” His breaths were coming faster and faster. 

“Sihtric, stop.” Finan shook Sihtric’s shoulders and forced the man to meet his gaze. “Stop.” He waited until Sihtric had steadied his breathing before continuing. “Ealhswith will be fine. Your child will be fine.” He squeezed his shoulders gently. “She is so strong, Sihtric.”

Finan pulled Sihtric in and hugged him as the tears started falling down his face. A tear in his own eye, Finan held his best friend until he took a shuddering gasp and pulled away. “Thank you,” he whispered, roughly wiping his cheeks. 

“Of course, Sihtric.” Finan’s heart was weeping for the man, and he stood there for as long as Sihtric needed. He had been through so much lately, and losing a child had been one of Sihtric’s worst fears. “Your family is here for you, whenever you need.”

Sihtric nodded, and squeezed Finan’s arm. “I cannot thank you enough.”

“You don’t have to.” Finan hugged Sihtric again. “Now, I think we need to go celebrate.” Finan grinned as Sihtric chuckled. “Uhtred has a new casket of honeyed mead.”

Sihtric snorted, but was smiling as they made their way to Uhtred’s hall. “Just as long as you take the blame for drinking all of his mead.”

“Are you kidding? I’ll say it was Osferth.”


End file.
